My name is Ed
by eStHeR-tHe-ScRiBe
Summary: Ed is unhappy about Al leaving, so to get rid of the pain, he drinks a little. When Roy finds him on the ground and out of it, he feels its duty to bring help him. What happens when Ed confesses his love? What will happen when Ed wakes up? Will he forget?


**Ok, to the people that have read Coldblooded, OMG! That person has inspired me to strengthen my vocabulary (If you like RoyxEd then read Coldblooded, you won't regret it) And I'm in a depressing mood, listening to Goodnight by Evanessence. So if you're like _Whoa, she's an emo chick _I'm not. The end! Oh, and I was thinking forever on a good reason for Al to leave, I just couldn't make one, so if you want to help me, that'd be greatly appreciated. (One more note that I just remembered... I don't know that much about FMA, I just started it, don't hate me.) **

_"Behaved women usually don't make history"_

Ed walked slowly in the pouring rain. The downfall dampened his already fragile state. Al was gone for four days, helping Riza with whatever it was she needed. Maybe it was something about the Stone, maybe it was just getting him to do her dirty work, but he was still unhappy having to be alone.

He just spent two hours in the library... doing absolutely nothing. He read the alchemy books so many timesthat if someone asked, "What was on page seven?" he could announce it word for word. That wasn't making any of the emptiness leave though.

Not even darkness or hunger filled his stomach and mind. If he were in pain, or overwhelmed, or starving, that'd be something, but this was nothing. There were no emotions at all. It was as if the world had just decided to stop living. The world seemed colder and humorless. Tears would've been useless, there was nothing to compel them. If anyone had even caught him crying then his reputation would surely drop. It would also give Mustang another reason to mock.

Ed walked mindlessly into an alley. Usually dark alleys in a sleet and cold rain storm with gusting winds would be a sign that something bad was coming up, but all defenses were down in his mind. He slumped his back against the stone building and slid down like a sloth. His thoughts scattered mercilessly and everything went by in slow motion. A gust of wind flew past him and made a shiver tingle down his back.

Even when Al was here, his thoughts and actions were drained heavily. Without Al, everything was just a moment from shutting down. Ed hugged his legs like a child, a small meaningless child. So many depressing thoughts ran through his head, he wondered why suicide hadn't come yet.

It was cold. Very cold. Ed shivered. He finally felt something. He finally felt himself and the tiny goosebumps that dotted along his flesh arm. His metallic arm felt even colder against his side. Ed needed something to distract him from the emptiness. He needed to just get away and be someone else.

He shook his head, trying to shake off some of the rain drops and hail pellets. He stood up wearily and walked down the road to a small bar that was only noticeable by a small wooden sign that pointed to a staircase that led down into a cellar. _Throw everything away..._ Ed thought with a smile. He looked at the stairwell that seemed dark until you saw the small golden light beat off the bottom walls.

Warm air sifted up to his feet that just stood at the top. He stayed completely still, listening to the large and and heavy laughs of men. Glasses clanged. Music played. Warm hearts talked and murmured. Ed felt a small smile curl up on his face. He walked downstairs and the warmth caught up with him instantaneously. The warm air against his cold body made his clothes stick and rub uncomfortably.

The music grew louder and happier. The men sounded more peaceful, peaceful and drunk. Ed waltzed in, groggy. No one took too much notice to the small blonde boy who stood at about their waist line. Of course, though, Ed wouldn't have had the energy to hurt anyone if that name had gotten passed around. At this point, he might've laughed himself.

He sat down on abar stool and looked over the counter. The man gave him an eye. The way Ed looked know, he could've passed as eighteen, so he thought. The bar tender gave a slight nod, meaning "I got my eye on you". Ed asked for a Bloody Mary, he'd never had one, what better time to try one? The man looked doubtful, but made one anyway.

The glass came over to him swiftly. It was the color of blood with a green herb in it, ice and a straw poking out. A straw. Ed grimaced and took a sip despite the childish addition. His face fell white. It was disgusting. It had this strong alchoholic flavor with a hint of something he couldn't even place. It was burning his throat too. If he had taken a big gulp his throat would've been on fire. Ed wasn't backing down, though. He closed his eyes and forced the terrible drink to his stomach.

Clapping sounded throughout the room quickly. Ed looked up and saw men dancing and waltzing to the quick country music. They obviously had no idea what they were doing, just throwing themselves around and letting the beat flow through them. Other men were at tables with darkened masks, trying to bluff cards they held in their hands. Mostly all of them had a large golden bubbly drink in their hand or beside them.

There was a subtle crash and Ed looked quickly to the side and watched as a man laughed, allowing three other men to pull him up from the ground. His eyes looked around the room meaninglessly, he was obviously drunk. The funny thing that Ed would always remember was that when he got up, the men tried to fix his problem by handing him another beer. Ed was liking this place a lot.

He finally got up from his horrible drink and walked over to the men dancing. He took a large breath through his nose and took his jacket off, throwing it to a table. A few men looked at the small boy and stepped aside with laughs. No one made a comment, no one wanted to start a fight. Ed caught up to the beat and moved his feet along with it. He kicked up and twirled around. He threw his fists into the air as if he really were drunk.

The men cheered and daced beside him.

"You got some good moves their, shorty," a large muscular man told Ed. He had a stuble on his chin and tan skin with brunette hair. His clothes werea dirty whitewith brown trousers at his waist.

"Yeah, pipsqueak," another man about the same size commented from the other side. He had gray wiry hair that strayed past his ears. Ed thought about the names for a moment. They weren't intentionally trying to get him pissed, so he decided that'd be his nickname here.

"Not bad yourself old men,"he laughed back. A few minutes later him, the two men, and four other men were crowding around a table laughing and having drinking contests. Ed had won his third try around, but Mac (the brunette man) was the all time champ.

Drew (gray haired man) pulled out a pack of cards. He dealt them out and announced Blackjack was in session. Ed had his first three cards, a good hand too. A nine, an eight and a three. It was an amazing hand. He was one away from Blackjack. Deep in his gut, a strange feeling told him to take another card. Ed debated. When Drew asked "Shrimp" what he wanted to do, Ed hesitated.

"Hit me," he said loudly. Drew smiled and threw him a card. Ed picked it up. He stared at the card. In his head he ws yelling and screaming, but he kept a pokerface like everyone else. He couldn't help but give a ready smirk. He had gotten an ace. "All in." He announced.

"Show your cards." Three men had already folded, meaning Drew, Mac, Ed and one other man had the remaining hands.

"Seventeen," Drew pushed is cards down. The other man growled and threw down a fifteen. Mac laughed boisterously.

"Nineteen," he announced throwing his hand down. Everyone looked at Ed. He shrugged.

"Twenty... _one_," he said as he flew the hand down. A gasp of awe fled through the crowd as Mac and Drew laughed patting him on the back.

"Lucky shrimp!" They called. Ed wasn't sure if it was the beer they had been giving him, but he was surely out of it. Two more games, Ed lost one, won the other. After that night, the name "Lucky Dancin' Shrimp" had been his title. He remembered everything clearly. He walked home with his new friends and when they departed, all Ed could truly remember was passing out in front of a recognizable gate.

"Ed?" A voice called out in panic. He laughed drowsily.

"Who's Ed?" Yep. He thought. I'm drunk.

"Colonel!" The voice called, "Colonel Ed is..." He remembered now. It was Riza.

"HiRisa..." he slurred. She shook him furiously. He giggled.

"S-stopp, that'snott fairr," he giggled again, "I can't s-seeyouu." Soon there was another voice.

"Ed?" He knew that voice quickly.

"B-bas-Mustang," he quickly said with a frown. "Tonight wass funn, youwun't unnerstan." He looked up at the colonel. He looked worried. It didn't fit his face. Ed saw something else too. Colonel Mustang was actually more appealing than he gave him credit for. "You're pr-pretty Mustang," Ed said, trying to hold back his bile. Roy picked up Ed awkwardly.

"Colonel Mustang?" Riza began.

"I'll keep watch over him tonight, Riza. Thank you," and Roy left. Ed laughed.

"I'm not agreeinn ta this," he accused in his giggly voice. Roy's face stayed the same. Unbroken and serious. He had a tight frown. Ed snuggled up to Roy without thinking. Roy was caught off guard. Who would sell to a minor? Ed was wasted. Badly wasted. It really did hurt to look down and see him in such a fragile state.

"What happened Fullmetal?" Roy asked as he slipped him into the passenger seat.

"I had lotss of fun, youshoulda meh Mac. He az funny," his words became even less understandable. Roy understood that he meant he should've met mac because he was funny. He knew a Mac too. Mac Cray, that guy spends all his time in that cellar bar. Roy sighed.

"I bet so, Fullmetal," Roy finally said. Ed made an ear-to-ear smile. Roy made a small smile as he looked over to the small boy, "I bet so."

* * *

At Mustang's place, Ed laid on the small sofa. He didn't sleep for a while. He just looked at Mustang for, what seemed like, ever. Mustang was uncomfortable with the stare. He finally tried to get him to talk.

"Do you think you're going to do that again?" Mustang asked. It was obvious he was going to say yes.

"Prolly," Ed began, "It was fun..." Mustang sat on the coffee table beside Ed and just sighed with a coffee in his hand.

"Anything you did that was worth mentioning, shorty?" Roy asked as he smiled behind his coffee mug. Ed was probably going to go back to his normal self and defend his height.

"It's the "Lucky Dancin' Shrimp" to you," Ed said with his giggly voice. Roy's eyes widened and he splurted his coffee. That wasn't expected at all. Ed looked at Roy kind heartedly. "You ok, Mustang?" Roy's thoughts traced back to what Ed said when he first saw him. _You're pretty..._ he was drunk... but still. Was he serious? Ed shuffled to sit up, he looked physically woozy. Roy tried to lie him back down.

"Fullmetal you should really go to sleep," Roy began in a commanding officer's voice. Ed laughed.

"Only if you're with me," Ed began in a smooth tone. Roy was taken aback again. It was beginning to be difficult on whether or not he was serious about those kinds of things.

"Fullmetal, stop," Roy commanded. Ed fell over towards Roy. Ed's face lost all of its joy and well-being. Roy shook his head and put him beack down to rest. Before Roy could move, Ed's grip tightened around his arm (because Roy had taken his blue jacket off). Roy stared down at Ed annoyed.

"Do you ever get lonely?" Ed asked suddenly. Roy looked down at him confused. "You never have anyone close to you, colonel." His voice became a whisper. "I always had Al by my side... but you only have your other officers. And knowing Hughes it really isn't the most enjoyable company in the world." Ed's grip tightened and his eyes melted. Roy wondered if his inner thoughts were speaking instead of the alchohol.

"Sometimes," Roy finally answered back with a sigh. Ed looked up into his eyes. They were closed. Ed smiled quietly and raised his metalhand up to touch the colonel's face.

"Mustang," Edsang like a parent trying to coax a child, "Mustang,I could be by your side." Roy felt the cold of Ed's hand against his warm face. The worst part of this conversation was, Roy loved the idea. Roy wanted Ed to be there. God only knows why. He dreaded it. Ed was drunk, tomorrow this conversation wouldn't even be a memory. It hurt so much to understand that.

"No," Roy began, pushing Ed's hand back to his side, "Try and get some sleep, Fullmetal." Tears swelled. Emotions enlarged. This wasn't even right. Ed didn't give up just yet, though.

"I have a secret to tell you," Ed giggled. Roy looked at the innocent child. "Come here," he whispered. Roy smiled a little and knelt down by Ed.

"What is it, Fullmetal?" He asked gently. Ed raised his head to the colonel's ear.

"My name is Ed," he whispered. Roy felt tears threaten to spill over his eyes. Ed's head fell a bit, then came back up and met Roy's lips. Roy's eyes widened. Everything fell apart all too quickly. Roy didn't flee his head back, he just rested Ed's head down and kept the kiss strong. It was wrong. He knew it. The tears fell over his cheeks and depression swelled within him. Tomorrow none of this would've ever happened.

Roy backed his head up a bit from Ed's. Ed fell apart just as well. His breathing came hard and rushed, Roy could taste the drinks on his tongue. He'd tried a Bloody Mary. He made a small laugh. Ed looked up with honest eyes and smiled.

"What's so funny?" he asked. Roy kissed his forehead. Tomorrow... none of this would've ever happened.

"You had a Bloody Mary," he said. Ed laughed. Ed's hand was soon in Roy's, and he fell asleep pleasurably. Roy stared down at the boy in agony. Tomorrow he'd never be able to look at him the same.

"'Night... Ed," Roy whispered as he got up. Ed had a small smile on his face when he heard this in his subconscious mind.


End file.
